My Testimony: It's Christ all the Time


For those of you who don't know my testimony... This is the story of how Christ changed my life. I prepared it for my baptism and I love to look back and reflect on it.


I was born to parents who love Jesus and taught me that the only way to truly live is in Him and through Him. As a child, I went to church every Sunday; I went to a Christian elementary school and was always involved in youth group, I was surrounded by church and yet totally unaffected by the Gospel.
My “relationship” with Christ was all about me, a one-way street more or less. I always believed in God’s existence and knew that He loved me and had created me. I would pray for the things that I wanted or needed and cry out to Him when I was in trouble or sad. On the exterior, I appeared to be your typical Christian kid, I had verses memorized and tried to be as good as possible so that God would be happy with me. I thought that if I prayed and tried to be a good person that meant I was a Christian.
Over the next 10 years of my life, I learned to love rebellion and sought out any opportunity I could to be the “cool” kid. My insecurities took over and I allowed myself to conform to the ways of the world, seeking to have the reputation as a “bad girl”, I lived in my sin and I loved it. I began indulging in all the things that are glamorized in our culture; I partied hard and lived a reckless lifestyle. I was completely dead in my sin, living for myself and all my desires, acknowledging God’s presence and the convictions I was feeling only when it was convenient for me.
All of my sin and my “holding it together” came crumbling down at the end of my first year of university. A number of people close to me passed away that year and I was destroyed over it. Rather than turning to God in my pain and confusion I got angry with Him, intentionally sinning to upset Him and show Him the pain I was feeling. I convinced myself that I was much more mature and in control of my life than I was. I allowed my sin and my pride to ruin all the relationships in my life. I spiraled into a depression, I hit rock bottom and saw the consequences of all of my sin. I was crying out for someone to save me,anything that would help me to understand why everything was happening the way it was.
It was that summer that I began to see what Jesus was really like. By God’s will alone I ended up at a Young Adults worship night. I was totally blown away by how real God was to everyone there. There was something so different about these people, I could see the peace that they had and the joy that they felt and I wanted it so badly.
I attended the Ignite conference a couple weeks later and Jesus poured out His abounding Grace on me that weekend; I had never felt a love like that before. God in His mercy lifted the veil was lifted from my eyes. I realized that everything I had been blaming on Him, all the trials and struggles I had experienced had only happened to draw me nearer to Him. I was able to see the destruction of my sin and the choices I was intentionally making as it was ruining all of my relationships with everyone I loved. All the things I was doing to hurt and upset God were actually only hurting me and pulling me farther and farther away from Him. I had been struggling to trust God with my pain and my fears and He made it so clear to me that He truly is the “God of all comfort.” (2 Corinthians 2:3) and that He loved me and wanted to make me new and “Holy and blameless before Him.” (2 Corinthians 1:4).
My life today is incredible! God is so good and so faithful to those who love Him. I have an inexpressible JOY in my life! I stand redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ, completely undeserving of the sacrifice He made and so blessed to have the privilege to call him my Father, my Saviour and my friend. “By Grace I have been saved by faith.” (Ephesians 2:8) I now seek to live for Him and give Him the praise and glory for everything in my life. He has been my rock, being ever so patient with me as He sanctifies me by the Spirit daily. He has redeemed the relationships that I, in my sin destroyed. He has redeemed the losses I’ve experienced as I now see that He is glorified in those weaknesses and trials. He has saved me from my sin and the punishment I deserve and called me His daughter “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.” (Philippians 3:8)

“But He said to me “My Grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” – 2 Corinthians 12:8-10

3 comments:

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